Saturday, September 24, 2011

Our Life on This Day

Have just checked each one of my precious babes! They're all sleeping in such angelic fashion. So often, I just stop at the end of busy days and watch them sleep. Watch them breathe. Watch them lay still. Watch their chests gently move to the beat of their hearts. I've even been known to snap a pic or two of them up close and personal deep in slumber! At these times, I am reminded in resounding form of the blessed woman I am! Indeed, God has gifted me with value . . . value far beyond what the mind can comprehend.

An update on our life seems to be necessary, considering the date of the last post.

Here's the flowery version (for those faint of heart):

Start: This past week has been gloriously perfect! We've accomplished every bit of school work. The house has been cleaned from top to bottom (even the blinds have been dusted in each and every room). The cars have been washed, waxed and vacuumed. All of us have had at least 30 minutes per day of elevated heart rate. Books have been read by each in our spare time. Meals have been prepared from scratch . . . nothing processed here! Oh, yeah . . . and this cancer issue hasn't really been anything because we're thinking positive and not letting it bother us. End.

That "joking around" just about makes me sick. However, there are those in my life who need that version to make them comfortable about my life. To a degree, I think I understand where they are. Yes, it hurts that they cannot walk this road with me and my family. That, however, is something they'll have to work out with God.

Here's the nitty gritty version (for those who are "bearing our burden"):

Our days seem to become more challenging with each passing 24 hours. Sadly, not one of us looks to expect good anymore, learning to settle for okay. Okay is at least better than the awful that so often is the case. My Main Man has become the Man of Gold in recent days! He's had to do things we never even imagined when we said our wedding vows 20 years ago. The way he has navigated each of our needs simply amazes me! It reminds me why I married him and makes me grateful he's mine!

Presently, we have chosen to implement extreme alternative treatments for this terminal case of cancer with which I have been diagnosed. (Did you see that ugly word "terminal"? Yuck.) You know, chemo is alternative when you consider the attack that is taken upon your body. But, chemo is readily accepted in our society because we are trained from birth to accept it. Since the doctors have nothing to offer me, alternative is our only choice, yet it is the choice that God has directed us to for sometime now. These extreme treatments are proving to be incredibly cumbersome and time-consuming. They also bring about a very great measure of sickness upon my body as I detox nearly 46 years of "trash" that has settled within my cells and tissues. Maybe another time I'll share about the specifics of this detoxing stuff. Just know, though . . . it's a gruesome job that's gotta be done.

Daily, we accomplish the best we can with the life that this family of seven requires. All things are looked at in different ways nowadays. Character building certainly outranks any measure of academic accomplishment. (Don't worry, we still do "school"!) Lots and lots of time for "lovin" is reserved on every one's schedule. (You know, I thrive on skin-to-skin contact with my blessings!) And, you should see our refrigerator! We are being treated to some delicious meals being brought by dear friends who are loving us through this time. When I sit down to the dinner table and see the magnificent spread delivered by another, I am overwhelmed by the goodness of our Lord. Afterall, it is He who has seen to it that my family is fed. And, He has done it through some amazingly beautiful families. I trust for His blessings upon them in their gift to us!

There is much that is not getting done around here. But, then . . . I'm reminded by the Lord about what our priorities really ought to be. Are we walking this journey of uncertainty looking for a path paved with the expected? Or are we trusting Him with each step we take? Are we making sure to include Him in all that we do? Or do we stop and look around hoping to see Him in what we've chosen? Yes, I am being forced to take inventory of what's really going on here in regards to my days. I hope I'm blinded to the pull of this world and its desires for pleasure. My burning desire is that I be fully surrendered to my Savior and all that He has called me to do within every breath that He grants me. (I'll be honest and reveal that at times when the pain is so intense, I fail and cry for relief. Forgive me Lord for my fear and being scared. Sometimes, the pain is so great, I literally can't see straight.)

For those of you who have prayed for us, thank you! It is our hope that through this experience of our life, you would be drawn to a closer relationship with the Lord.

We continue to trust . . .

23 comments:

  1. your posts remind me of how cruel 'kindness' can be and how desperately you need to be able to talk to your friends and family and not sugarcoat this raging fire. i do not live anywhere nearby but i am making a call here on your blog for all who read it to continue to pray and to descend on you and your home to PHYSICALLY AND PRACTICALLY MEET THE NEEDS OF KEEPING UP A HOME, RUNNING ERRANDS AND TENDING TO CHORES.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trusting Him with you sweet sister. I am with you on the "alternative" medicine. Praying this treatment is effective. I have heard of so many who were "cured" with alternative medicine. Praying our Great Physican works through this treatment and restores you to full health.
    Much love to you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. First: I will say that I am glad that the 'start to end' paragraph wasn't really true, 'cuz quite frankly I wanted to throw up :) You are too funny!!!
    Now for real: I'm thankful that I have recently found your blog. I would love to pray for and with your family. I am also glad to hear that you are choosing priorities of 'family moments'.
    The last few years of my life were tough, my husband became ill and I became his caregiver. I chose 'family moments' as well and now that my husband has met Jesus face to face (Christmas Eve 2010) I am SO thankful that 'things and cleaning' were set aside for real life relationships!!
    He's been gone 9 months and I would not have traded any of those moments for the world.
    You have a beautiful family and a beautiful spirit that I am enjoying getting to know through your words.
    Praying from AZ - Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  4. My heart is so full of love and awe and grief as I read this post. How can you make me laugh in the midst of this raging war that is being battled in your poor body? Your friendship is one of the most important things that have ever happened to me in life. I am forever changed just by knowing you, by your open and passion filled life. It is JESUS who shines through, Jesus I catch a glimpse of, want to hold onto with you. I love you. My soul cries out to the Lord on your behalf, my precious sister.
    Karen

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just dropping by to let you know I love you. Enjoyed so much seeing your handsome men and lovely little ladies last Saturday. They are a credit to you, my dear. I love you. Please give me call when it is convenient for you.
    Love you madly,
    Karen

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mrs. W:
    Just wanted to let you know that you are an inspiration and that I'm praying for you!
    Andrea

    ReplyDelete
  7. Crying out to the Lord on behalf of your whole family. I can't imagine the heartache you are experiencing, but I praise God for your testimony of faith. You are impacting people for eternity with truth and hope that will trickle down for years and years.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear friend,
    I was so blessed by the music and words on your blog this morning. Thank you for sharing your life. I love you, Cathy.
    Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was led to your blog by a fb post from a friend. Your story touches my heart. My kids and I just paused in our school day to pray for you and your beautiful family. Your love for the Lord, your family, and life screams to me from this. I will continue to pray for you and your complete healing in Jesus' name!
    God bless you my sister in Christ!
    in His magnificent grip,
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  10. We have 3 boys, Jacob, (11), James (9 next wk) and Kian (3). When we started trying for Kian we had decided we were going to name him Jared (if the baby was a boy) It took almost 4 yrs to get pg though and when we finally did we decided on Kian instead. When I found your blog today through a friend, and saw the names of your boys, it kindled a spark of something familiar, and added to the kinship of motherhood we share. I'm brand new to your story and journey, but I wanted to let you know that you now have one more family praying for you and your family!! In church yesterday there was a man who gave his testimony of his journey with cancer and his miracle recovery after the drs told him to go home and make his plans to die as there was nothing that could be done. I know, as do you, that God can and does heal in miraculous (to us) ways (that are just 'normal' to Him) and yet we don't know why there are times He doesn't. =/ But I'm praying for you and your family that His peace will be with you all as the storm rages, that He comforts you through the pain and your family copes and feels the love and support around them, and that will be done and His healing touch will be on you and that you will once again be free of this monster!! God bless!
    April

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am praying for you and also trusting in healing for you my sweet friend. Hugs....

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've been thinking about you Cathy. I know you are probably taking things day by day right now and blogging isn't high on your priority list. But, you have touched the hearts of your readers and women from all across this country are praying for you! Prayers and blessings from PA.

    ReplyDelete
  13. We sang this song in church yesterday...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ65aNv28Jc

    I was thinking of you Cathy as we sang it especially during the line, "Our God is Healer. Awesome in Power." My soul cried out for you as I sang. I continue to pray.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Cathy <3 It's Barbie :)

    I can't stop praying for you and your INCREDIBLE family! Getting to know you these past 3 years has been one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive. I ponder back to my birthday, sitting in Mimi's Cafe with you, enjoying a beautiful lunch and fellowshipping with you. I just smile at the gift of our friendship. I had another dream last night and you and I were together. I prayed for you in my sleep <3 Thank you for being YOU...You are a gift to be cherished <3 I love you <3

    <3 Monique

    ReplyDelete
  15. HAPPY 46th BIRTHDAY CATHY!!!

    I love you dear friend and I am still praying for you and your family every day. I pray that your birthday is filled with much joy & laughter as you celebrate with your precious family today. May God richly bless you with His peace and may you feel His Love surround you!

    Happy Birthday!...
    Love Always,
    Karen :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Cathy- thinking of you often- I care about you and your family so much. from Brenda Diaz

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm still thinking about you and praying for you Cathy! And,from a couple comments here it looks like you recently had a birthday. Happy belated birthday! I hope you were able to do something really special for your special day.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Been thinking of you, Cathy! Just wanted to send lots of love your way and give you a (((cyber hug))).

    ReplyDelete
  19. I just stopped by to remind you that people continue to pray for you and your precious family. Though I have no idea of where you are in your journey, I know my God does and He is able to meet all of your needs. Praying you have peace and joy during this holiday season and that you feel HIS presence daily!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Still praying Cathy! I wanted to share 2 verses with you that have meant so much to me in recent months. And, I hope it's ok if I share them with you.

    Isaiah 45:18-19
    "I am the Lord and there is no other. I have not spoken in secret form somewhere in a land of darkness.
    I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.'
    I, the Lord, speak the truth."

    Isaiah 46:9-10
    "I am God, and there is no other.
    I am God, and there is none like me.
    I make known the end from the beginning,
    from ancient times, what is still to come.
    I say: My purpose will stand and I will do all that I please."

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dearest Cathy,

    I love you dear friend and it hurts me to know just how much you are suffering. I continue to lift you up in prayer each day and I pray that the Lord will comfort you through the pain and fill you with His peace. May you feel His loving arms embrace you, as He holds you close to His heart.

    I love you so much sweet friend. You are a true BLESSING to me and so many others!

    Love Always,
    Karen P.
    xoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Cathy!
    Just wanted you to know I really miss you and I am praying for you and your family! Wish I could help out somehow.
    Wished we lived closer so I could bring you a casserole or offer to clean your house or help out with your kids. :)
    But I will press on in prayer.

    Love
    Rachel

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Cathy, I keep coming back here because you are so much on my heart and on my mind. I think of you often & pray for you often. As I sit here tonight typing this message I'm praying 'Lord, give me a word for her. Give me something to say that would bring her hope & encouragement.' Cathy I really don't know what to say other than this...

    You are loved. You are loved by God so deeply. And the prayers of believers are lifted daily & hourly for you.

    And I will continue to pray.

    ReplyDelete

So glad to hear from you! ~The Mama