Have just checked each one of my precious babes! They're all sleeping in such angelic fashion. So often, I just stop at the end of busy days and watch them sleep. Watch them breathe. Watch them lay still. Watch their chests gently move to the beat of their hearts. I've even been known to snap a pic or two of them up close and personal deep in slumber! At these times, I am reminded in resounding form of the blessed woman I am! Indeed, God has gifted me with value . . . value far beyond what the mind can comprehend.
An update on our life seems to be necessary, considering the date of the last post.
Here's the flowery version (for those faint of heart):
Start: This past week has been gloriously perfect! We've accomplished every bit of school work. The house has been cleaned from top to bottom (even the blinds have been dusted in each and every room). The cars have been washed, waxed and vacuumed. All of us have had at least 30 minutes per day of elevated heart rate. Books have been read by each in our spare time. Meals have been prepared from scratch . . . nothing processed here! Oh, yeah . . . and this cancer issue hasn't really been anything because we're thinking positive and not letting it bother us. End.
That "joking around" just about makes me sick. However, there are those in my life who need that version to make them comfortable about my life. To a degree, I think I understand where they are. Yes, it hurts that they cannot walk this road with me and my family. That, however, is something they'll have to work out with God.
Here's the nitty gritty version (for those who are "bearing our burden"):
Our days seem to become more challenging with each passing 24 hours. Sadly, not one of us looks to expect good anymore, learning to settle for okay. Okay is at least better than the awful that so often is the case. My Main Man has become the Man of Gold in recent days! He's had to do things we never even imagined when we said our wedding vows 20 years ago. The way he has navigated each of our needs simply amazes me! It reminds me why I married him and makes me grateful he's mine!
Presently, we have chosen to implement extreme alternative treatments for this terminal case of cancer with which I have been diagnosed. (Did you see that ugly word "terminal"? Yuck.) You know, chemo is alternative when you consider the attack that is taken upon your body. But, chemo is readily accepted in our society because we are trained from birth to accept it. Since the doctors have nothing to offer me, alternative is our only choice, yet it is the choice that God has directed us to for sometime now. These extreme treatments are proving to be incredibly cumbersome and time-consuming. They also bring about a very great measure of sickness upon my body as I detox nearly 46 years of "trash" that has settled within my cells and tissues. Maybe another time I'll share about the specifics of this detoxing stuff. Just know, though . . . it's a gruesome job that's gotta be done.
Daily, we accomplish the best we can with the life that this family of seven requires. All things are looked at in different ways nowadays. Character building certainly outranks any measure of academic accomplishment. (Don't worry, we still do "school"!) Lots and lots of time for "lovin" is reserved on every one's schedule. (You know, I thrive on skin-to-skin contact with my blessings!) And, you should see our refrigerator! We are being treated to some delicious meals being brought by dear friends who are loving us through this time. When I sit down to the dinner table and see the magnificent spread delivered by another, I am overwhelmed by the goodness of our Lord. Afterall, it is He who has seen to it that my family is fed. And, He has done it through some amazingly beautiful families. I trust for His blessings upon them in their gift to us!
There is much that is not getting done around here. But, then . . . I'm reminded by the Lord about what our priorities really ought to be. Are we walking this journey of uncertainty looking for a path paved with the expected? Or are we trusting Him with each step we take? Are we making sure to include Him in all that we do? Or do we stop and look around hoping to see Him in what we've chosen? Yes, I am being forced to take inventory of what's really going on here in regards to my days. I hope I'm blinded to the pull of this world and its desires for pleasure. My burning desire is that I be fully surrendered to my Savior and all that He has called me to do within every breath that He grants me. (I'll be honest and reveal that at times when the pain is so intense, I fail and cry for relief. Forgive me Lord for my fear and being scared. Sometimes, the pain is so great, I literally can't see straight.)
For those of you who have prayed for us, thank you! It is our hope that through this experience of our life, you would be drawn to a closer relationship with the Lord.
We continue to trust . . .
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