Here's a long overdue update on our family and me . . .
Two weeks ago, I had a day of seizures -- nine of them in all. Everyone was very afraid of what was going on and whether or not I would make it through them all. A hopsice nurse spent the next three nights here with me getting through the time facing whatever outcome with which there was to deal. Well, praise the Lord, I awoke on the other side seeming to be pretty normal! I still had the physcial limitations I had been struggling with for months, but the seizures were over.
One major side effect that did occur was six months of memory loss. Lee and the children are telling me about life of the last six months and I don't have any recollection of the events that have happened. From birthday parties to family get togethers to hospice time, I don't remember about the last six months of time. That's really strange to see pictures and read about events on the calendar, and not remember a thing about any of them.
Lee says that life has been a risk every step of the way. Hospice was called in for some major pain relief the first part of October. They said I wouldn't see the next month and then the next month. But, the Lord kept defying what their predictions were! Throughout these past four months of hospice care, we have faced an unexpected place we never anticipated in life. I have been heavily drugged as a measure of relief from the severe pain I was experiencing. There have been days I have not woken up, not eaten, thrown up all day, cried all day, but there have been days I have gone shopping and even made Christmas cookies.
Today, I have extreme pain in my feet and lower calf region as well as my lower groin area. I have a catheter, so doing anything is just about impossible. I'm not allowed to walk without someone with me. And, even when someone is walking with me, the pain is so challenging, I don't have much desire to be moving about the house. When you consider what I remember, I'm only two weeks into this new realization of life's circumstances and I'm just about to climb out of my skin. Lee's been doing this for five months now. He is a picture of the "in sickness and in health" part of our wedding vows. Our home is functioning in such a compromised condition. He has to do everything, including all he did before. I'm so honored to have him for my husband. Everything he does is with such gentleness, love and care. Never does he complain or grumble about what life is today. He just loves me along the way.
The hope is for this pain to reduce to nothing. For our life to get back to some sort of normalcy. I would just like to be able to walk without pain, to lay down without pain and to not be taking as many pain pills. So there is an update on our home. Don't know how we got to this place, but the Lord's protecting us here as well.